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We are currently a waiting family on our journey to becoming parents. This blog was started in hopes of keeping all our friends and family up to date on all things adoption. It has become that as well as a place for me to share our feelings and/or frustrations and a way for us to let off some steam every once in a while! Thank you all for your love and support!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Adoption is our path to parenthood

First I want to start by giving you all a quick update on our process.  We are done with our homestudy!  We have finalized our photos for our profile!  We are now waiting for the agency to print all the profiles, send them to us and then we have to attach our photos to the profile.  We should be active adoptive parents within a few weeks!!!  Very exciting!!

Now, I  have a few things that I need to get off my chest.  Things have been bottling up lately and then after my trip to the doctors office today I need to vent and get it all out.  Today, I went to a dr. appt.  Our doctor knows all about the adoption, he had to fill out our medical form for the homestudy.  He walks in the room today and tells me that last month he was at the hospital reading a chart and checking on an infant.  He said that he thought of us because this infant was dropped off at the fire department.  He didn't contact us because he didn't want to deal with the whole thing.  The child was perfectly healthy, the mother was raped by her mother's boyfriend.  She left the baby and now this child needed a home, but OUR doctor couldn 't be bothered with contacting us.  Are you kidding me?  I just sat there, not knowing what to say.  This child needed a home and instead of contacting people who want to adopt an infant, they spent the evening figuring out where this child could be placed in foster care.  So after this happened this morning, everything that people say to me lately that they think is helpful really started to tick me off.   So, here are a few things that adoptive parents don't want to hear....  We are unable to have children ourselves, adoption was not our way  to relax so that we could get pregnant.  We WANT to adopt.  We want people to be supportive and happy for us about the way we are choosing to be parents.  We do not want to hear, "Now you will get pregnant, cause you will be more relaxed"  Also, it is not helpful when people decide to talk to us about adoptions that have fallen through and not happened.  That is not helpful or encouraging information. 
I also know that there a lot of people out there that are very supportive and happy about how we are going to become parents.  But, when I am having a bad day or need a little uplifting, please stop telling me that we will get there.  I know we will get there, sometimes I just need to say how much this waiting sucks.  And somtimes we need to bitch and complain and freak out about how much this is going to cost.  We didn't anticipate this and we don't have the thousands of dollars needed stashed away somewhere.
And finally, we may be adopting but we are still real parents!  If I want to take up to 12 weeks of maternity leave, I can and I have every right to.  As adoptive parents, we deserve to experience every moment of expecting a child.  We bought a crib, we will paint the room, we will register, we will have a baby shower, we will talk about it and we will want you to be excited about us expecting as well.   We very well may be a transracial family somday and we are excited and proud of that.  Anyone that thinks anything otherwise should really keep their mouth shut.  We know that we are going to continue to face these challenges as we become a family, but I felt that I needed to get some of it off my chest.  We are so very happy about our adotpion process and can't wait to see what God has planned for us!